Can Will Get The Last Word With Tug? Nope
by EpicRangerHalt
Summary: If the Rangers had arguments between their horses, what would they fight about? Read to find out! Please review! Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice.
1. Will-Tug

**A/N: This is just something that popped into my head when I was bored. Normally I only think about Ranger's Apprentice half of the time :3 Well, not today! Enjoy my friends!**

Will: No more apples, Tug.

Tug: _Who are you, Halt?_

Will: Well, he's right! If I give you too many apples, you'll get fat and then he'll say 'Told you so', and, plus, I don't think I'll be able to get away from an enemy with half a brain with an overweight horse!

Tug:_ You'd better start running, Will._

Will: You're bluffing.

Tug: _Try me._

Will: Keep this up and there won't be any apples for a month.

Tug: _Now YOU'RE bluffing._

Will: Try me.

Tug: _NOW you're using my responses._

Will: So?

Tug: _So, you could be more creative._

Will: Why should I listen to you?

Tug: _'Cause if you don't, you'll end up in big trouble._

Will: You and I both know that I'll get in trouble anyway.

Tug: _Because you never listen. I feel Halt's pain._

Will: I listen to Halt!

Tug: _Then why are you always in someone's dungeon?_

Will: That's just strokes of bad luck.

Tug: _Then you must not be very lucky._

Will: What would you know? You're a horse!

Tug: _Who could always not move when his master is being run down by bandits._

Will: You know that you would run.

Tug: _Wanna bet?_

Will: I'm not gonna gamble with a horse.

Tug: _Probably a wise idea._

Will: Why's that?

Tug: _Because I'm obviously smarter than you._

Will: Well I'm higher on the food chain.

Tug: _Like you would ever eat me?_

Will: If you get fat enough from eating apples, then I might just.

Tug: _Yeah, right. I wouldn't bet my last apple on that._

Will: Tug, I don't think you would bet your last apple on ANYTHING!

Tug: _You get the point._

Will: Why don't you just shut up?

Tug: _Nah, I don't feel like it._

Will: *Scowls and walks away*

Tug: *Smirks the best way that a horse can and steals an apple*


	2. Tug-Blaze-Abelard-Kicker

**A/N: I thought that this would be a one-shot, but people started asking for more, so here you go! This one is actually between the horses themselves. I thought I should try it out. Read, enjoy, review!**

Tug: _Where's Will?_

Blaze: _Probably spending the night in a tree._

Abelard: _Heheh, classic Halt. . ._

Tug: _What makes you say that?_

Blaze: _'Cause I saw him getting his mandola out. We all know what happens then._

Tug: _I didn't hear anything._

Kicker: _I did._

Tug: _Shut up, Kicker._

Kicker: _Why?_

Tug: _Because you're stupid._

Kicker: _You know that I could squash you, right?_

Tug: _You wouldn't._

Kicker: _Try me._

Abelard: _OKAY, let's not kill each other. Yet. . ._

Tug: _. . ._

Kicker: . . .

Blaze: . . .

Tug: _You're creepy. . . _

Abelard: _How so?_

Tug: _For one thing, your master's Halt, and he scares all of us, secondly, you just said 'Okay let's not kill each other, yet', and you're just scary in general._

Abelard: _Halt isn't scary!_

Tug: _Uh, yeah, he is._

Abelard: _At least he isn't stupid, unlike Will._

Tug: _Will isn't stupid!_

Abelard: _And Halt isn't scary._

Tug: _. . . Touche._

Blaze: _Did you guys get your apple?_

Tug: _No. _

Abelard: _No._

Kicker: _No._

Blaze: _The audacity!_

Tug: _The gall!_

Abelard: _The nerve!_

Kicker: _I don't know what you guys are saying and I agree!_

Tug: _We need to get them back. . ._

Blaze: _Yes, but how. . ._

Abelard: _Something that'll really make them suffer. . ._

Kicker: _Steal their coffee! And, Abelard, you're creeping me out._

Abelard: _Yeah, that's it! Steal their coffee!_

Tug: _Mhmm, it was my idea in the first place!_

Blaze: _Yeah, good going, Tug!_

Kicker: _But-_

Tug: _Let's go!_

Kicker: _But, guys, it was-_

Blaze: _The sooner the better!_

Abelard: _I can't wait to see them writhe. . ._

Tug: _Abelard, seriously, quit it._

Tug, Blaze, Abelard: *Trots away*

Kicker: *Stares after them* _Guys? *Sighs* Oh, these friends ain't loyal._

**Heheh, I couldn't resist putting the loyal thing in :3 Review!**


	3. Halt-Abelard

**Read, review, enjoy!**

Abelard: _ Was Will playing his mandola?_

Halt: Yeah.

Abelard: _Was he singing Graybeard Halt?_

Halt: Yeah.

Abelard: _Did you yell at him?_

Halt: Yeah.

Abelard: _Is he staying in a tree?_

Halt: Yeah.

Abelard: _Can I have an apple?_

Halt: Yeah. Wait, no!

Abelard: _Pleeeeeaaaaase?_

Halt: N-O, NO.

Abelard: _Pretty please?_

Halt: No.

Abelard: _Pretty please with a cherry on top?_

Halt: No.

Abelard: _Pretty please with a cherry on top and sprinkles?_

Halt: No.

Abelard: _Pretty with swirls and-_

Halt: NO. You aren't getting an apple.

Abelard: _Why?_

Halt: Because.

Abelard: _Because what?_

Halt: Because I said so.

Abelard: _Could you say no to this face?_

Halt: Yes.

Abelard: _Don't you love me?_

Halt: That depends.

Abelard: _You don't love me? Oh, woe is me! I suppose I'll go to live with the farmers. Out into the cold, harsh world. . . Without any apples. . ._

Halt: You know as well as I do that you aren't going to leave.

Abelard: _Bet you an apple that I do?_

Halt: Uh-huh, sure.

Abelard: _Graybeard Halt is a friend of mine, he lives on Redmont's hill-_

Halt: SHUT UP!

Abelard: _Make me. Greybeard Halt never took a bath and they say he never will!_

Halt: Fine! *Shoves an apple into Abelard's mouth*

Abelard: *Munches happily*

Halt: *Scowls and walks away*


	4. Crowley-Cropper

**Read, enjoy, review!**

Cropper: _You know, Crowley, this would have been a lot easier if you hadn't packed so much._

Crowley: I need this stuff!

Cropper:_ Nah, I think the coffee could've gone._

Crowley: MY COFFEE?!

Cropper: _You heard me._

Crowley: If my coffee goes, your apples go.

Cropper: _You wouldn't!_

Crowley: You think so?

Cropper: _That could backfire very quickly._

Crowley: How so?

Cropper: _Well, there are many ways. First, I could buck you off. Secondly, if you were, say, being run down by a bunch of bandits, I could stay put and let you do the running. Third, your coffee could magically disappear—_

Crowley: If you touch my coffee, you're a dead man.

Cropper: _Dead man?_

Crowley: Dead, er, horse.

Cropper: _Okay, Halt._

Crowley: What do you mean by that?

Cropper: _Well, it just sounds like a very Halt-ish threat._

Crowley: I'm not like Halt.

Cropper: _I don't know. . . Sometimes I wonder if you're somehow related._

Crowley: We can't be related! He's from Hibernia, whereas I'm Araluen.

Cropper: _You'd be surprised._

Crowley: You aren't the sharpest horse, are you?

Cropper: _That depends on how you look at it._

Crowley: I think I'm looking at the right angle.

Cropper: _Doubt it._

Crowley: I wish I could quit you.

Cropper: _Yeah, but I'm worth it. Could you quit this face?_

Crowley: Depends.

Cropper: _Depends on what?_

Crowley: Depends on the time of day and how annoying you're being.

Cropper: _Me? Annoying? Never._

Crowley: Mhmm, sure.

Cropper: _You know that you'd be lost without me._

Crowley: No, not really. In fact, it would be quieter without you around.

Cropper: _I don't make that much noise._

Crowley: Your snoring wakes the heavens.

Cropper: _Horses can't snore. . ._

Crowley: You know what I mean.

Cropper: _You say that like you're so much better._

Crowley: I don't snore.

Cropper: _Once I woke up thinking a pig had snuck into the house._

Crowley: Shut up.

Cropper: _Nah, this is fun._


End file.
